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Welcome to the world of teaching: polyester suits, well-polished shoes, endless marking and a stream of embarrassing moments at the coalface of the classroom. Follow Nick Smith as he charts his journey from trainee teacher to inspiring head. Now, thirty years on, Nick has seen – and heard – it all, and in this book, he shares extraordinary stories from his time in the education system. Follow Nick from his early trainee years, as he faces a daily battle to make it home without having his classroom set on fire (yes, really) and watch as he climbs the greasy pole to headship, navigating everything from Ofsted visits to mission statements, parents’ evenings and much more. At turns heart-breaking and hilarious, Head Trauma is a rousing call to arms for parents, teachers and pupils alike. Above all else, this is the story of the students that kept Nick returning to the school gates every morning: the brave, the bolshie and the downright determined kids who helped shape him into the headteacher he went on to become. ‘As I began my teacher training, little did I know of what awaited me. Almost three decades and seven schools later, I am head of a state secondary school. On the wall in my office is a children’s toy, a plastic monster’s head which, if pressed, emits a pre-recorded message: ‘It beggars belief!’. I press the monster whenever I, pupils, parents, staff, or the Department for Education do something that is notable, ludicrous, odd, bewildering or unreasonable. It is pressed so often that I am forever having to replace the batteries.’